Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant

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(440): View more from Ohio

pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.

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(917): View more from New York City

you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple

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(303): View more from Colorado

Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.

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(207): View more from Maine

Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.

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(310): View more from California

Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year

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(972): View more from Texas

Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt

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(813): View more from Florida

Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.

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