my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
