i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
