i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
