scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
