I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
