your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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