Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
