Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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