Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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