Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
