If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
