I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
