oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
