these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
