Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
