Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
