No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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