The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
