if i died would you start the facebook group?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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