Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
