whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
