My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
