The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
