John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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