Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ambien. No doubt about it.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
