He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
