honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
