u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
