oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
