I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
