its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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