Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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