He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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