16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
