There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
