Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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