I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
