k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
this hospital has no fireball
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
