Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
