do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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