He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
