Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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