Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
