Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
