trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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