He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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