flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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