When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
