so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
