: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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