My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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