so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
